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Friday, April 29th 2011

5:54 AM

OH YEAH... THEY HATE ME!

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I look into my side mirrors and the string of cars piled up behind my big RV butt is no less than 2 miles long.

"Oh yeah... They HATE me..."

The 93 that connects LAs Vegas to Phoenix is not what I had expected. As a novice RV driver, I am in way over my head and sweating bullets...

It all started beautifully and day one was smooth sailing, with cruise control all the way... We stopped in Kingman at KOA and turns out the manager LOOOOVES hot rods and soon as he saw the deuce, perched on it's crappy U-Haul rental trailer, it was love at first sight. Deuce got the royal treatment, and they gave it it's own pull thru site  - compliment of the chef - LOL. Meanwhile I outdid myself that night when, completely exhausted, I fell asleep in bed with my cup of coffe still in my hand. Woke up later (a long time later), still dressed, lights on and the coffee had spilled all over the bed...

 - If only I was kidding... Sigh...

I REALLLLLLLLY need some heavy duty rest.

But wait. I LIED when I said day one of travel was smooth sailing - IT WAS NOT.

The morning of departure I found I had a nail in my truck tire. Bob and I had to zip to the tire store and get that fixed. Then I had to pick up my second U-haul trailer, the one that would carry the deuce from Las Vegas to Phoenix - hopefully in one piece... I am going to Phoenix because the WELLS CARGO factory is there and for the past 2 months or so, they have been building a custom enclosed trailer for the deuce. And I got to go pick it up.

My new tour assistant Terry is pulling the deuce while I am driving the RV. Well, I decided to stop at Camping world to buy some supplies and THANK GOD I did. I step out of the RV and the stench of brakes just about KILLED ME.

 "Whats that smell? Is it from US????"

Terry's like: "no, I don't think so..."

One glance at the rental trailer and there is smoke coming out of BOTH sides.

Oh it's from us all right!

 #^%%@&&## !!!

GREAT. So now we are stranded in Camping World parking lot, waiting for the road side assistance truck. A woman knows how to use down time wisely so I went SHOPPING hehehehehe. No, no, not designer clothes or anything like that. It was more in the lines of: Biodegradable toilet paper LOL - what can I say I have good tastes.

 Road side assistance truck pulls in - Looks like the trailer brakes locked (no.. Really???) and the guy is still trying to figure this out. I am torn between taking a chance and keeping the same trailer OR losing 2 hours replacing it and reloading the deuce - which was quite the ordeal - decisions decisions... 

"I really don't think you'll have any more problems with it" says the nice man...

I want to believe him, especially since it is now already noon and we are 2 hours behind schedule.

So I took a leap of Faith... Surprisingly it seemed the trailer was in deed back to normal after that and we did make it all the way to Kingman OK.

"They definitely HAAAAATE me!"

I am now struggling because route 93 has mutated from a nice straight 2 lane road to a windy one lane road that is kicking my ass:

High Winds are pushing my RV left and right, and I am having a hard time staying centered in my lane. but that is only part of the problem: the road is narrow, winding, with drops  here and there (and zero rails) and big rigs are coming at me in the opposite lane, missing my RV by a mere 2 feet every time - if that...

And if you htink that is not bad enough, add to the equation: ROAD WORK... Those guys have narrowed the bridges down with cement blocks, and when I get to the first spot I look at this and go:

"NO FUCKEN WAY IS MY RV GOING TO SQUEEZE THROUGH THIS TINY OPENING"

Oh boy... Oh boy... Easy now... I expect to hear - any time now - the horrible sound of metal being crushed by cement blocks... For sure I am going to lose both my RV side panels on this road...

But to my surprise I make it through, unharmed... And do it again... And again... At each bridge...

"They HAAAAAAAAAAAATE me!!" - behind me the cars are piling up, everyone is stuck going 45 miles an hour because of... me.

Oh well, they can kiss my big white RV ass cause I am not going to kill myself and crash my Monarch to make them happy. I guess they'll have to deal with it.

Finally an exit. I zip off that damned road and stop. I need to stretch and relax for a moment. I step out of the RV...

"WHAT'S THAT SMELL????????????????"

Yop, you've guessed it. Smoke is coming out of the trailer left side AGAIN.

Oh brother!

Terry and I look at each other: "Well, I guess we'll have to wait and let the brakes cool down and then let's plan to stop every chance we get to check on the trailer brakes status"

So we did. Every exit we found, we pulled over and checked the brakes. It seemed they returned back to "normal" though after that, maybe because we picked up some speed cause the road went back to a normal 2 lane road - THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

With all this crap we had to deal with, it took us no less than 9 hours to make it to Phoenix. More road work on Grand avenue that seemed to last for no less than 30 minutes. 30 minutes worth of driving this huge class A RV between two very narrow lines of cones that seemed to never END.

I am now TIRED and GROUCHY.

(Note to self: tonight let us not try to drink a cup of coffee in bed).

Never been to Phoenix but I hate it already LOL.

To escape the road work I decided to make a last second right turn and got a bit lost but then hopped on a freeway and then on another one and decided to arbitrarily exit and ended up by a very strange coincidence, only 3 blocks away from the WELLS CARGO factory, where my Deuce trailer is being built.

Wow! That was weird (and pretty awesome)

We pull up at a large gas station and I google "RV parks" only to find that there are none near and I am wayyy too tired to drive another 30 minutes. And thats' when is dunded on me that we were actually not at a gas station but rather at a TRUCK STOP!

So last night I had my first ever truck stop experience - Faith the rivetter LOL did OK, and the big rigs pulling in and out all night long didn't not phase me a bit: I AM DEAF hehehehe and on occasions this comes in very handy.

So here we are, at the dawn of a new day, and today I get to see my Deuce trailer for the first time. Let's hope to God they didn't screw things up and it is exactely what I had ordered..

Photos coming soon... But more sleep must come first

Talk to you all tomorrow!

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